Rule #1: This book club is not for kids. Do not bring your kids. Find a babysitter. So — I broke rule number 1 already and since I was the only one doing it, I arranged in advance for the hostess to have Lightning McQueen at the ready. She had better toys than we do (dinosaurs and cars do the trick!) and Ben was super quiet upstairs…for the first hour and a half. Nearing the second hour, when he had enough, Ben devised a surefire way to get me to exit Book Club quickly: come downstairs naked. A high school friend reminded me that, yes, indeed, this is how we roll in Nebraska. Unfortunately, my day was not over yet!

I promptly went to Barnes & Noble to purchase September’s book. I figured if I bought the book they’d have to let me come back, right? So….sitting in Barnes & Noble, I purchased a sandwich and cookie. I ate the sandwich. Ben ate the cookie (lunch=cookie when you’ve had the morning that he had entertaining book club ladies). Our conversation went like this:

Mom: “So, Ben, do you even know that you live in Texas now?”

Ben: “Yeah.”

Mom: “Do you like Texas?”

Ben: “Yeah.” (Boys are such great conversationalists).

Mom: “So. Are you a Husker or a Longhorn?” (At this point, I’m just fishing for info).

Ben (mouth full of cookie): “A Longhorn!”

Mom: “Well, that’s not gonna fly! You are a HUSKER!!! You ARE a Husker, right?!“

Ben: “I’m a Husker. Do they fly?”

20 minutes after blog entry: I had to remove the word “naked” from the title and the tags because within this short amount of time I have had too many hits from freaks in this world searching for “naked boys” and getting my blog. Unbelievable. What is this world coming to?! I am actually physically ill over the thought. I didn’t even consider such sick things when I wrote the article. I will take your IP address and send them to the police. Disgusting. May God have mercy on your soul.